When People Don’t Agree With How You Raise Your Children


The Fundamental Home

I posted a picture with Briana and me on Facebook.

Someone told me that I shouldn’t allow my children to use the peace sign.  I also has someone say that I shouldn’t encourage Briana to make a poochie face, and I definitely shouldn’t be doing it with her.  Then, they said that we could take the picture for our fun, but we shouldn’t post it to Facebook because my husband is in ministry, and it would reflect poorly on him and the Lord.

Le sigh.

I have been reading blog posts, and it seems that a lot of folks had issues with acquaintances, friends, and family (and sometimes, strangers) that didn’t agree with how they raise their children.

There’s the homeschool mom whose extended family felt that they were sheltering their children too much with their educational choices and were vocal about the dangers of this “extreme” option over the turkey dinner, even calling them names in front of their children.

There’s the parents who allow their children to listen to certain types of music or watch certain movies that another member of their church does not feel is acceptable.  The children overheard someone criticizing their family over their entertainment, and now, they don’t even want to go to church.

There’s the family who is vegetarian, and every person who meets them that finds out about their diet feels the need to tell them the dangers of not eating meat (or gives them “helpful” Bible verses).  That one’s for you, C.O.

Maybe you have seen some of the same posts I have.

Maybe you have even experienced critical attitudes from others.

It’s pretty hard to deal with when it is happening to you.

We’ve had our moments.  I have bitten my tongue.  I have also neglected to bite my tongue, and later, wished I had.  When people don’t agree with how I raise my children and feel the need to tell me, I struggle with extending them grace, but that’s exactly what I need to do.

Extending someone grace isn’t simply a matter of biting your tongue, though.  It is also a matter of the heart.  It means not thinking ill of them.  It means letting hard comments pass by without even inflicting pain.  It means compassion and understanding on your part.

I should have two goals when dealing with people who don’t agree with how I raise my children.  I want them to leave the conversation feeling as though they were able to effectively communicate with me, and I want to leave the conversation with feelings of love toward the other person.

So, here are a few ways we try to handle it when people don’t agree with how we raise our children.  Maybe it will help you to extend some grace when you need to do so.

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7 Things I Am Glad I Didn’t Do As a Homeschool Mom

The Fundamental Home

We’ve been enjoying the wonders of nature this weekend as we have had a rather large snowstorm come through. Our family lives in the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains, to the east, and we don’t get too much precipitation of any kind.  The mountains usually block a good portion of it.  In order to get any significant accumulation, the storm has to come up from the South.  Well, this time, it was a doozy!  We were snowed in for several days.  Thankfully, the power stayed on, and we maintained our heat.  I am also pretty thankful that we had enough food to get by.  Because we almost never get snow, I didn’t take the warnings too seriously.  I didn’t rush out for bread and milk (or coffee or meats or veggies or other foods that would have been helpful to have on hand if I had known we would not be able to leave our house for days).  Like I said, it all worked out.  Yesterday evening, we were able to get our truck down the treacherous hill that is our only way out and park it in a neighbors driveway- which made for a chilly walk at 4 AM when I had to take Rick to work.  With only one vehicle, I am still in charge of taking everyone back and forth.  I tell you, nothing will wake  you up like trudging up a snowy hillside at four in the morning.  I haven’t even had my coffee yet.

It was a fun weekend, though.

Aside from the concerns about power, food, and travel, it was good to have a reason to stay home for once.  I went outside and played with my children everyday.  We cooked tasty things from scratch (did I mention that I got a beautiful Kitchen Aid mixer for Christmas?), played board games, watched movies and football games, and generally lazed around to our hearts content.  It was beautiful.  I told Rick that, if we were more prepared (wood stove and lots of food), I could live like that for a long time.

Needless to say, not much homeschooling took place.

I saw all those homeschool moms post on Facebook about their children rushing to finish school before playing in the snow.  Maybe I am just getting older (I like to think more experienced), but I am not stressed about that stuff anymore.  In fact, I don’t think I ever really was SUPER stressed about homeschooling.

While my homeschooling experience hasn’t been perfect (after all, there are some things I wish I had done), there are some things I am glad I didn’t we didn’t do, like…

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